The BLOOM365 Glossary of Important Terms

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Concepts

What is Teen Dating Violence / Relationship Abuse?

Teen Dating Violence (aka relationship abuse) is a pattern of controlling and/or violent behaviors to maintain power over a dating partner. Dating Violence can be verbal, emotional, physical and/or sexual—and can cause low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, injury, and even death. Its many forms include:

Threats to harm self or their dating partner
Humiliation such as insults and name calling
Intimidation
Isolation from friends and family
Possessive jealousy
Controlling what someone wears, their friendship circle, and more
Hitting, punching, kicking, pinching
Sexual harassment, coercion, or rape
Financial control

What is Sexual Violence?

Sexual Violence is any sexual activity where consent isn’t freely given. Most forms of sexual violence are criminal acts. Sexual Violence affects people of all genders, sexual orientations, and ages. It includes but isn’t limited to:

Sexual coercion (forcing, convincing, or threatening someone to engage in sexual activity)
Sexual harassment (stalking, inappropriate jokes, comments or gestures, un-welcomed advances, etc.)
Rape (sexual intercourse or penetration without consent)
Child sexual abuse (sexual assault of a minor by an adult)

Consent is given with a firm, enthusiastic “YES!” Saying “maybe” does NOT mean yes!

What are Risk Factors?

Risk Factors are the circumstances or experiences that increases the chance a young person will develop controlling, abusive or violent behaviors. They include:

Lack of parental support and supervision.
History of bullying others or being bullied.
Belief in rigid and toxic gender roles.
Poor coping, communication, or social skills.
Experienced childhood trauma. (Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACEs).
Exposure domestic/sexual violence.
Use of alcohol or drugs
Association with violent peers.
Maltreatment or instability as a child.
Low self-esteem and/or sense of powerlessness.
Access to a firearm.
Lack of positive peer relationships.
Friends, family, schools, communities that tolerate violence.
Inability to show empathy for others.
Isolated from support services in and out of school

Source: Center for Disease Control

What are Protective Factors?

Protective Factors are characteristics at the individual, relationship, community, and societal levels that are associated with reducing the risk for violent behaviors. They include:

Healthy communication and coping skills.
Positive self-esteem.
Mastery of a non-violent skill, sport and/or hobby.
Positive peer relationships.
Access to caring and trusted adults at school and/or in the community.
Family/parent support, connectedness, and stability.
Ability to show and feel empathy.
Communities and laws that support violence prevention.
Sense of belonging at school.
Safe home environment, free of abuse and violence.
Commitment to school work/doing well at school.

Source: Center for Disease Control

What are the Root Causes of Violence?

Unhealthy Gender Norms: gender stereotypes and societal expectations that justify, trivialize, or normalize power and control based violence and affect help-seeking
Insecurity: feeling powerless, inferior or “not good enough”
Exposure to Violence as a Child: child abuse and neglect or witnessing a parent experiencing violence can increase the risk of violence perpetration later in life
Social Acceptance: ignoring attitudes, beliefs and behaviors that tolerate abuse and violence
Choice: the intentional choice to hurt or disrespect someone in order to gain power and control
Taught Abusive Behavior: abuse is learned when it is witnessed in families, influenced by friends, glorified in popular culture, ignored in communities, and/or condoned in media or society

How can we PREVENT root causes?

Over 25% of young people between of 13 and 24 have reported being abusive or violent to a current or former dating partner. Verbal and emotional abuse, physical and sexual violence, possessive jealousy, and coercive control are the common tactics individuals use to gain power and control. To reduce the risk of social and emotional harm and interpersonal violence-related deaths, we must recognize the red flags, reduce risk factors and prevent root causes. Learn more. <–THIS NEEDS TO GO TO GD!!

What are the Common Threads Among School Shooters?

98% are male
2% killed family members or intimate partners and/or
had a history of domestic or sexual violence
80% accessed their firearms from family members
Most experienced early childhood trauma and exposure to violence at an early age (ACEs)
66% have a history of suicidal ideation and/or depression
Most went through a significant life stressor within 5 years
Most communicated their threats online
All feel powerless and inflict harm on others to gain a false
sense of power and control (this is their motive)

Sources: FBI & Secret Service National Threat Assessment Center

Terms

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES): Traumatic events that occur during childhood
Advocate: Peers or professionals trained to offer victims information, support and assistance with accessing resources
Boundaries: Emotional or physical space between us and others
Bystander: A person who is present at an event but does not take part or do anything.
Catcalling: The act of saying sexually suggestive or threatening comments at someone publicly.
Change Agent: An individual who acts as a catalyst for change.
Coercion: Persuading someone to do something by the use of force, threats, or making someone feel like they don’t have another choice in that situation.
Communication: The sharing of ideas & how we get our needs met.
Conflict: A disagreement or argument. Opposing viewpoints or interests. A normal part of relationships & friendships and a natural part of communication.
Conflict Resolution: A strategic way to communicate in order to find a peaceful or neutral solution to a disagreement or conflict.
Consent: A firm and enthusiastic YES!, Not coerced, Must be given with a clear mindset, Must be given every time, Asking for permission
Dating: Two people in an intimate relationship, whether serious or casual, short term or long term
Dating Abuse: A pattern of abusive behaviors used to gain power and control over a dating partner
Empathy: The ability to understand and share the feelings of another
Exception: When a person or thing does not follow the rules of social norms
Gaslighting: Using tactics like minimizing, denying, and blaming to manipulate a victim into questioning their own sanity
Insecurity: Lacking confidence.
Media Literacy: Learning how to critically consume media messaging.

Perpetrator: The individual who is verbally, emotionally or physically abusive
Positive Affirmation: Phrases you can say, either aloud or in your head, to affirm yourself and build yourself up-- especially in the midst of difficult situations.
Possessive Jealousy: Jealousy that is about having power & control over another person
Protective Factor: Any factor that makes it less likely someone will develop abusive behaviors
Rape Jokes: Inappropriate jokes about sexual assault & victims of assault.
Red Flag: Warning of danger or that someone could be controlling or abusive
Risk Factor: Factors that increase risk for becoming abusive
Root Cause: The underlying reason a problem exists
Safety Plan: A personalized plan that helps you determine practical ways to remain safe while in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, before planning to leave or after you leave
Self-Esteem: Confidence in your self-worth, resulting in self-respect & self-love.
Sexual Harassment: Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors.
Sexual Violence: Unwanted or coerced contact in a sexual nature.
Social Change: Changes in the behaviors and systems that tolerate abuse and violence as norms.
Social Ecological Model (SEM): Helps us understand how we are shaped by our surroundings & how that impacts how we behave & interact with others
Stalking: 1. Repeatedly watching someone, 2. Following or harassing, 3. Social media stalking
Stereotypes: Generalizations about Behavior, Personality, Preferences, Appearance, Abilities, Characteristics, Roles in relationships or society
Survivor: A person who has gone through and healed from victimization
Upstander: A person who recognizes that something is wrong and acts to make it right.
Victim: The individual who is the target of abuse
Victim Blaming: Expecting the victim to prevent & end the abuse that is inflicted upon them. Blaming a victim for the abuse.